And before I go any further for those that have already made assumptions – I am NOT pregnant! Haha! :)
I have been typing and erasing. Typing and erasing. Typing and erasing, and you guessed it…typing and erasing. I sit here in complete and utter sadness, happiness, love and all of the emotions I could have while typing this. I can’t tell you exactly why. Why is that you may be asking? Is it because I don’t want to tell you? Well, it’s because to be honest I still don’t really know myself. God has completely blessed me not only with the love of my life (shout out to my main squeeze, Robert), family that has always loved and supported me through all of my almost 25 years now (tomorrow is my birthday), amazing friendships, and everything in between. He has blessed me including some of the not so feel good times, but never the less, these times have taught me the most valuable life lessons. One thing that has been one of my biggest blessings is that he has given me is the ability to take a photograph and to have a successful business that is growing faster than I could have ever imagined when I first started it.
I could go into all of the ins and outs of my business throughout the years. I can tell you about all of the AMAZING times I have had, and the times that I was left in complete heart break throughout this business, but I will save you from having to read that, haha! The important thing is that I am where I am now and I am happy. I am at a place where my business is growing and my heart is longing to be 1,000% present in it. Now, that doesn’t go to say I am not already 999.9% present, but I had to take a good hard look at myself to realize something was missing. That .1% was me still working a part-time job as a graphic designer at the Southern Virginia Higher Education Center on top of running a very busy full-time business. I found myself getting exhausted by the time I got home from my part-time job and not being able to focus the way I truly wanted to on my full-time business.
God placed something very heavy on my heart over the past few months. After almost 6 years interning and working as an employee for the SVHEC, I’ve made a BIG decision for myself and for my business. It was not easy and still doesn’t feel all that real, but it feels GOOD to know I am taking a step moving forward in the direction of my business. I put my official resignation in at the SVHEC. Ah! It still feels crazy actually saying it. These people I worked with there were not only people I worked with for almost 6 years, they are also my friends. I loved my job there. I mean, what’s cooler than designing stuff and getting paid for that? I mean, pretty cool! But ultimately I knew it was taking away from what I could be spending time on for my business and being fully present for my couples and my seniors that mean the world to me. Fully present at actually being able to BLOG the things I want to blog about. Fully present as a wife, daughter, sister, and as a friend. Fully present as a child of God. Fully present to be able to actually cook food at home. Fully present on being able to go to the gym on a consistent schedule. Fully present to actually enjoy my morning cup of coffee. Fully present to take Cooper on the much needed walks he loves so much. Fully present at being annoyed that laundry doesn’t do itself.
It’s time to let go and be fully present.